Boring Kindness
I recently saw Nomadland¸ the picture which did so well at the Academy Awards – Best Picture, Director and Actress. It tells the story of a 60ish woman who loses her home and her income and ends up living in a van, travelling around the country, looking for work which is invariably low paid. The centre of the story is the kindness and community she encountered amongst the other poor ‘nomads’. Most of the actors were real people who lived this very real, often hard, life. And I found the movie boring. My sister told me she fell asleep and she NEVER sleeps in movies. It was as though kindness killed the narrative arc. Compare that with most entertainment on offer now. Violence and tension in varying sorts channel the story and capture peoples’ time, money and interest.
How different it is in normal life. It is kindness that fulfills us and sustains our relationships, not violence and anger. Like Fern, in Nomadland, we need people to treat us gently when we are broken, to help us when we are in difficulty. And we need to do the same to others. Our deepest fulfillment depends on the give and take of kindness in our lives. Yes, there are times when we need to take a stand, but if we have the habits of kindness, we will do that in a positive way. The challenge in our modern lives is that ‘tension based’, even violent, entertainment is close at hand, no more than a phone away. We can be so easily distracted when life, especially family life gets hard.
The words for patience and passion come from the same root. Feeding a toddler attentively can be boring, hearing the same story over and over, either from a child or elderly person, can be hard, watching our spouse or partner do that annoying thing yet again is so frustrating. But these are the times when we can be passionately patient, when we can be kind. It won’t make for the most interesting story but it will make for a fulfilled life…in the long run.
Loving God, we are made in your image. We are made to be kind and loving to each other yet doing so can be hard. Often because it is boring. Give me a deep share in Jesus’ passionate patience that I may truly love my family, friends and community. I ask this in his name, confident that you will hear me.
Sr Kym Harris osb