Good connections with other people are essential to our wellbeing. Not only our mental health but also our physical health is dependent on a good web of relationships. Recently, I was told of a study that showed that an obese person who smoked but had good relationships was more likely to live longer than a healthy-weight, non-smoker with poor relationships.
As Covid has continued on its course, I have seen the mental health of a few friends unravel as they have lived with a degree of isolation. All the more reason for me to continue my contact with them. I have noticed that at the beginning of a conversation, they have seemed ‘scatty’ or ‘wound up’ but simple chatting made them calmer, and dare I say happier. We all know how masks make communication more difficult. All the more reason, to take our time and make the effort to be with others and communicate. It is tedious, even difficult, but we cannot underestimate how much we need to connect.
Being with others, loving others, is hardwired into the depths of our person – we are made in the image and likeness of God, and our God is a community – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And it is in community, in communion with others that we find our true self. And it is not easy. Unlike God, we have our flaws and we encounter other people’s flaws when we have to interact with them. Loving others is often painful, difficult and even tedious. That is when we need the grace of God - to do what our poor weak selves cannot do: love beyond our sense of failure, love beyond the difficulties between us, to love so that we bring our best selves into being.
Sr Kym Harris osb
